Education
Senior 2 · English
Education
Lesson 3 of 4
22 min
Holiday camps, scholarships, exchange visits, competitions and short courses are advertised on notice boards, on the radio and online. To take part, you usually have to write: to ask for information or to apply. A clear, polite, correctly organised email can open a door that talent alone cannot. In this lesson you will read a notice about a study opportunity, study a model formal email of enquiry, and write your own.
A practice notice written by Ganzaa. The camp is invented.
HOLIDAY SCIENCE AND CODING CAMP
Musanze District LibraryAre you in S1, S2 or S3? Would you like to build a weather station, program a robot or design your own app?
When: 2–13 December, Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Cost: free (lunch provided)
Places: 40 (at least half for girls)How to apply: write to the Camp Coordinator by 20 November. Tell us who you are, why you would like to join, and what you hope to learn.
Umutoni wants to join, but she needs more information first.
Subject: Enquiry about the Holiday Science and Coding Camp
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to enquire about the Holiday Science and Coding Camp advertised on the notice board of Musanze District Library.
I am a Senior 2 student at a secondary school in Musanze. I would like to join the camp in order to learn the basics of programming, because I hope to study Computer Science at Advanced Level.
I would be grateful if you could answer a few questions. Firstly, could you tell me whether students need to bring their own laptops? Secondly, I would like to know if the camp is also open to students from neighbouring districts, as my cousin lives in Nyabihu. Finally, could you please let me know when successful applicants will be informed?
Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Umutoni Grace
Direct questions can sound too blunt in a formal email. Put them inside a polite opening, and notice that the word order changes to subject + verb, like a statement:
| Direct (informal) | Indirect (formal) |
|---|---|
| Do students need laptops? | Could you tell me whether students need laptops? |
| Is the camp open to other districts? | I would like to know if the camp is open to other districts. |
| When will applicants be informed? | Could you please let me know when applicants will be informed? |
For yes/no questions, add if or whether. For wh-questions, keep the question word, but put the subject before the verb, and drop do/does/did.
Tip
Faithfully to a stranger, sincerely to a name. Dear Sir or Madam → Yours faithfully. Dear Ms Uwase → Yours sincerely.
In an indirect question, keep the question mark only if the whole sentence is a question (Could you tell me…?), and put the words inside in statement order.
Make formal: Hi! Is there a fee?
Solution: Dear Sir or Madam, … Could you tell me whether there is a fee?
Correct the word order: Could you tell me when does the course start?
Solution: Could you tell me when the course starts? (Drop "does"; subject before verb.)
Which sign-off? (a) Dear Mr Gatete, (b) Dear Sir or Madam,
Solution: (a) Yours sincerely, (b) Yours faithfully.
Find three phrases in Umutoni's email that make it polite.
Solution: "I would be grateful if you could…", "could you please let me know…", "Thank you for your time."
You have seen this notice: "Young Reporters' Workshop: a free five-day course at a radio station in Kigali for S2–S4 students. Learn to write and read the news. Apply to the Workshop Director, Ms Uwase, by 15 July." Write a formal email of 120–150 words to apply. Say who you are, why you would like to take part (use in order to), and ask two indirect questions.
Model answer:
Subject: Application for the Young Reporters' Workshop
Dear Ms Uwase,
I am writing to apply for a place on the Young Reporters' Workshop. I am a Senior 2 student and a member of my school's radio club, where I read the weekly school news.
I would like to take part in order to learn how professional journalists check facts and write for radio. When I finish secondary school, I hope to study journalism.
I would also be grateful for some information. Could you tell me whether students from outside Kigali can take part? I would also like to know if accommodation is provided.
Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Ishimwe Kevin (about 120 words)
Remember
Sources and credits
This lesson adapts CC BY-SA material and is shared under CC BY-SA 4.0.
