Personal Health and Etiquette
Senior 1 · Home Science
Personal Health and Etiquette
Lesson 3 of 5
20 min
Think of two students asking a teacher for the same favour. One knocks, greets the teacher, waits to be invited in and explains calmly. The other walks straight in with his hands in his pockets and starts talking. Their request is the same, but the teacher's answer may not be.
Etiquette is the set of accepted rules of polite behaviour in a society or group. The word comes from French, where étiquette once meant a label or ticket, as if good manners were your ticket into society. In Rwandan culture, greeting people properly and showing respect to elders are especially valued. This lesson covers etiquette in what you say, how you say it, and what your body says while you speak.
Verbal communication uses words, spoken or written.
A formal letter or e-mail has a clear subject, a polite greeting (Dear Sir or Madam, or Dear Mr Habimana), short paragraphs that go straight to the point, and a polite ending (Yours faithfully if you began with Sir or Madam, Yours sincerely if you used the person's name), followed by your full name.
Body language is communication without words, through facial expressions, eye contact, posture, gestures, touch and the use of space. Much of it happens without our noticing, yet other people read it all the time.
| Signal | Usually read as positive | Usually read as negative |
|---|---|---|
| Face | a relaxed, friendly expression; a smile when greeting | frowning, rolling the eyes, yawning openly |
| Eyes | looking at the speaker, in a way that suits the culture and the person | staring at a phone or out of the window |
| Posture | standing or sitting upright, facing the speaker | slouching, turning away, arms tightly crossed |
| Gestures | nodding, open hands | pointing a finger at someone, fidgeting |
| Touch | a firm, brief handshake where it is expected | touching someone who does not want to be touched |
| Space | standing at a comfortable distance | standing too close, pushing into a queue |
The same signal can mean different things in different places. In many Rwandan families a young person talking with an elder shows respect by keeping a gentle, lowered gaze, while in a job interview steady, friendly eye contact is expected. When shaking hands with an elder, or when giving or receiving something, many Rwandans support their right forearm with the left hand, or use both hands, as a sign of respect. When you meet people from another culture, watch how they behave and follow their lead.
If someone says "I'm listening" while scrolling through a phone, the speaker believes the body, not the words. Good etiquette means your words and your body language send the same message.
Gatete needs permission to leave school early for a family ceremony.
Version A. He walks into the deputy head teacher's office without knocking, says "I need to go home at noon," looks at his phone while she replies and leaves without saying thank you.
Version B. He knocks, waits to be called in, greets her with "Mwaramutse, Madam," stands upright facing her, explains the reason briefly, offers to catch up on the lessons he will miss, listens to her answer, and thanks her before leaving.
| Verbal signals | Non-verbal signals | |
|---|---|---|
| A | no greeting, a demand, no thanks | no knock, eyes on phone |
| B | greeting with title, clear reason, an offer, thanks | knocks and waits, upright posture, faces her, listens |
Conclusion. Version B shows respect in both words and body, and gives the deputy head the information she needs. She is far more likely to say yes, and to trust Gatete next time.
Tip
Memory hook: SOFTEN. Smile, Open posture, Forward lean, Touch (a suitable handshake), Eye contact that suits the culture, Nod. When an exam gives you a scenario, sort the behaviour into verbal and non-verbal signals first, then judge each one.
Classify each as verbal or non-verbal: (a) saying "murakoze" to the cook, (b) nodding while a friend speaks, (c) sending an e-mail, (d) crossing your arms tightly.
Solution. (a) and (c) are verbal: they use words, spoken or written. (b) and (d) are non-verbal (body language).
Give three rules for using a phone politely.
Solution. Any three of: silent mode in class, worship and meetings; greet and name yourself on a call; do not call very early or very late; keep group chats on topic; never forward rumours or other people's photos without permission.
During a presentation Mutesi keeps her arms crossed, stares at the floor and speaks very quietly. What might her classmates think, and how could she improve?
Solution. They may think she is nervous, bored or unsure of her work, even if it is good. She could stand upright with open hands, look around the room, and speak slowly and loudly enough for the back row to hear.
A visitor from another country offers his left hand to shake. Byiringiro has heard that the right hand is usual. What should he do?
Solution. Respond politely and shake hands anyway. Etiquette is about respect and making people comfortable, and customs differ between cultures; correcting a guest would be ruder than the "wrong" hand.
Remember
Sources and credits
This lesson adapts CC BY-SA material and is shared under CC BY-SA 4.0.
