Marriage and Human Sexuality
Senior 6 · General and Religious Studies
Marriage and Human Sexuality
Lesson 4 of 5
25 min
Article 235 of Rwanda's Law N° 71 of 2024 governing persons and family opens with seven words: "Spouses have the same rights and duties." It goes on: "Spouses must owe each other mutual fidelity, help and assistance." The Constitution says the same in Article 17: spouses have "equal rights and obligations at the time of marriage, during the marriage and at the time of divorce".
Laws state ideals; families live realities. This lesson sets out what law, the Bible and the Qur'an say spouses owe each other, then looks honestly at the problems many Rwandan families face, and at what is being done about them.
Definition
Right: what a person is entitled to receive or do, such as respect, support or a share of household property.
Duty: what a person must give or do, such as fidelity or contributing to household expenses.
Fidelity: faithfulness; in marriage, keeping sexual relations only with one's spouse.
Domestic violence: physical, sexual, psychological or economic harm done by one family member to another.
Economic violence: controlling a partner by denying them money, work or a say over property.
Child-headed household: a household in which a child under 18 is the main carer of younger siblings, usually after the parents have died.
| Duty | Rwandan law (Law N° 71 of 2024) | The Bible (World English Bible) | The Qur'an (Pickthall, 1930) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Equality and mutual respect | Same rights and duties (Article 235) | "subjecting yourselves to one another" (Ephesians 5:21); "joint heirs of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7) | "they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness" (2:228) |
| Love and kindness | Mutual help and assistance (235) | "husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28); "don't be bitter against them" (Colossians 3:19) | "consort with them in kindness" (4:19) |
| Fidelity | Mutual fidelity (235) | "let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband" (1 Corinthians 7:2) | "come not near unto adultery" (17:32) |
| Living together and sharing life | Duty of cohabitation (236) | "they will be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24) | "They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them" (2:187) |
| Running and providing for the home | Joint management (238); each contributes "in accordance with his or her capacity and means" (239) | The capable wife who trades and manages (Proverbs 31) | "Let him who hath abundance spend of his abundance" (65:7) |
| Caring for children | Care for, nurture and educate children "on the basis of national values" (240) | "Train up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6) | Fathers must provide for nursing mothers (2:233) |
Verse 2:228 continues that men have "a degree above them"; many Muslim scholars link this to the husband's duty to maintain the family, not to greater worth. In both traditions, as in Rwandan law, the duties are mutual: neither spouse owns the other.
Worked example 1: applying the law and the scriptures
Claudine earns a salary as a nurse. Her husband takes her bank card each month, decides alone how all the money is spent and forbids her to visit her family.
Law. Spouses have the same rights and duties (Article 235) and jointly manage the household (Article 238). One spouse controlling all income and decisions breaks both, and it is a form of economic and psychological violence.
Faith. Ephesians 5:21 asks spouses to submit "to one another", and Qur'an 4:19 commands kindness and forbids putting "constraint upon" a wife.
Where to turn. Family members, a religious leader or the local Umugoroba w'Ababyeyi (parents' evening forum) may help the couple talk. If there is violence or threats, Claudine can call 3512 or go to an Isange One Stop Centre (3029).
| Problem | Why it matters | Responses in Rwanda |
|---|---|---|
| Gender-based and domestic violence | Harms spouses' health and children's development; often hidden | Isange One Stop Centres (3029); RIB helpline 3512; community forums |
| Poverty and unemployment | Strain and quarrels over money; children may work instead of studying | Social protection such as Ubudehe categories and Girinka; savings groups |
| Alcohol and drug abuse | Linked with violence, waste of income and neglect | Awareness campaigns; rehabilitation services |
| Teenage pregnancy | 5% of young women aged 15–19 had begun childbearing in 2019–20 (RDHS); it can interrupt schooling | Back-to-school support; protection of children; prosecution of defilement |
| Consequences of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi | Widows, orphans and child-headed households; trauma passed across generations | Survivor support (such as FARG, now under MINUBUMWE); counselling; reconciliation programmes |
| Conflicts over property and inheritance | Especially where couples only cohabit and have no civil marriage | Civil marriage and registered matrimonial regimes; Abunzi mediation |
| Infidelity, separation and divorce | Breaks trust; children suffer most | Pre-marriage and family counselling by churches and mosques |
Worked example 2: interpreting family data
The Rwanda Demographic and Health Surveys (NISR) found that the share of young women aged 15–19 who had begun childbearing was 7.3% in 2014–15 and 5.2% in 2019–20.
Change in percentage points: percentage points.
Relative change: fall.
Interpretation. The rate fell by more than a quarter in five years, which is progress. But 5.2% is still about one young woman in twenty, and behind each figure is a girl whose schooling and health may be at risk, and often an adult who broke the law. A good answer uses the numbers and remembers the people.
Important
Keeping children safe
Any sexual contact with a child is abuse and a crime. In Rwandan law a child is any person under 18, and every sexual act with a child is the crime of child defilement under Article 133 of Law N° 68 of 2018 determining offences and penalties in general, whoever commits it and whatever the child seems to agree to. It is never the child's fault. If it is happening to you or someone you know, tell a trusted adult and call, free of charge:
Tip
Use the problem tree. For "Discuss the problems facing Rwandan families", organise each problem into cause, effect and response, as in Figure 1 and the table. It turns a list into an analysis.
Important
Discuss. Which one problem in the table, if solved, would reduce the most other problems? Use the problem tree to justify your choice.
Practice
Sources and credits
Written by Ganzaa: Figure 1, the tables, the worked examples (the people in them are invented; the sector data are illustrative) and the exercises.
