Teenage Problems
Senior 6 · English
Teenage Problems
Lesson 4 of 5
25 min
Let's begin
Advice is easy to give and hard to give well. A friend in trouble does not need a lecture; he needs to feel understood, to see his situation clearly, and to leave with two or three steps he can actually take. A letter (or a long message) lets you do that more carefully than a quick conversation. This lesson shows how.
Read part of the message that Mutesi received from her cousin Hirwa, who moved to a new boarding school this year. (Both are imagined.)
"… The guys I hang out with here go into town every weekend and bet on football matches. At first I only watched, but now I bet too, and I've lost all my pocket money for the term. I've even borrowed from two of them, and they keep asking when I'll pay them back. My marks have fallen a lot. I can't tell my parents; they'd be so disappointed. I don't know what to do. Please don't tell anyone."
G.S. Umucyo
Umucyo
20 October 2026Dear Hirwa,
Thank you for trusting me with your message. I read it twice, and the first thing I want to say is this: you are not a bad person, and you are not the first student to get caught like this. The fact that you wrote to me shows that you already know something has to change, and that is the hardest step.
Let's look at what has actually happened. Betting started as something your new friends did and you watched; now it has cost you your pocket money, left you owing money, and pulled your marks down. The debt is small enough to fix, but it will not fix itself, and I'm worried that you might try to win the money back. That's how people end up losing twice.
So here is what I'd do if I were you. First, stop betting completely, starting this weekend. If the others go into town, you might want to join the football team or a study group at that time instead, so you're busy with something you enjoy. Second, tell your parents. I know that feels impossible, but they would much rather hear it from you now than from someone else later, and they can help you repay what you owe, perhaps from next term's pocket money. Have you thought about asking your class teacher or the school counsellor to help you plan that conversation? Third, talk to your subject teachers about the topics you've missed; it's only October, so there is time.
About keeping your secret: I won't post it or talk about it with anyone, but I'd really like you to tell your parents yourself by the end of the month. If you haven't by then, let's talk again about how I can help you do it.
You've got a good head, Hirwa, and one bad term doesn't define you. Write back and tell me how it goes.
With love,
Mutesi
| Para. | Job | Language to notice |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Thanks, reassures, and names the courage it took to write | Thank you for trusting me …; you are not the first … |
| 2 | Restates the problem honestly, without blame, and names the real danger | Let's look at what has actually happened.; I'm worried that … |
| 3 | Gives three ordered, practical steps with reasons | If I were you, I'd …; you might want to …; Have you thought about …? |
| 4 | Deals honestly with the request for secrecy | A promise with a condition: I won't …, but I'd really like you to … |
| 5 | Ends with encouragement and an invitation to reply | one bad term doesn't define you; Write back and tell me … |
| Feature | Formal letter (lesson 4, unit 1) | Letter to a friend |
|---|---|---|
| Addresses | yours and the recipient's | yours only (often just the school or town) |
| Greeting and close | Dear Sir or Madam … Yours faithfully | Dear Hirwa … With love / Best wishes / Your friend |
| Subject line | yes | no |
| Contractions and phrasal verbs | avoided | natural (I'd, hang out, pay back) |
| Tone | polite, impersonal, precise | warm, personal, honest |
Definition
| Strength | Phrases |
|---|---|
| Gentle suggestion | Have you thought about …-ing? · You might want to … · It might be worth …-ing. · I wonder if you could … |
| Clear advice | If I were you, I'd … · I think you should … · The best thing would be to … · Why don't you …? |
| Strong advice or warning | You really need to … · Whatever you do, don't … · It's essential that you … · You'd better … (or …) |
Grammar to check: If I were you (not was) uses the second conditional; It might be worth and Have you thought about are followed by -ing; You'd better is followed by the bare infinitive: You'd better tell them.
Worked example
From bossy to tactful. Improve: "You're stupid to bet. Stop now and tell your parents everything."
Result: "Betting has got you into a difficult situation, so whatever you do, don't bet again to win the money back. I'd also tell your parents soon: they would much rather hear it from you, and they can help you repay the debt."
Tip
The advice sandwich. Understanding first, advice in the middle, encouragement last. A reader who feels understood in the first paragraph will accept much stronger advice in the third.
Warning
How to give advice in English, from the British Council's LearnEnglish channel (about 5 minutes, level B2). Write down three phrases from the video that are not in the table above, and decide where each belongs on the scale from soft to strong.
Practice
| Checklist for a letter of advice | ✓ |
|---|---|
| Your address (or school) and the date at the top right; Dear + first name | |
| Paragraph 1 thanks your friend and shows you understand | |
| The problem restated fairly, without blame | |
| Two or three practical steps, in order, each with a reason | |
| A mix of soft and strong advice phrases, correctly followed (-ing, infinitive) | |
| A sensible word on getting help from an adult | |
| An encouraging ending and an informal close (With love, Best wishes) | |
| A warm, natural register: contractions are fine; slang and text abbreviations are not |
Sources and credits
