Teenage Problems
Senior 6 · English
Teenage Problems
5 lessons
Lesson 2 of 5
Under Pressure: a Counsellor's Talk, and Talking Through Problems at School
25 min
Let's begin
Every generation of teenagers has faced pressure; yours faces more of it at once, from examinations, friends, family finances and a phone that never stops asking for attention. In this lesson you listen to a school counsellor speaking to S6 students, then practise the two speaking skills that help most when things go wrong: discussing a problem with someone, and saying no when you mean it.
Before you listen
Work in pairs. Rank these pressures from 1 (most common in your school) to 6: exams, pressure from friends, money worries at home, social media, relationships, choosing a career. Be ready to explain your top choice.
Important
Listening script: for a teacher or classmate to read aloud
Only the reader opens the script; everyone else keeps it closed until the tasks are finished. About three and a half minutes. Mr Nshimiyimana is an imagined school counsellor.
Open the script (reader only)Open the script (reader only)
Mr Nshimiyimana: Good morning, S6. I have been asked to speak for five minutes about pressure. I will try to use only four.
Let me start with a fact. The World Health Organization reports that depression and anxiety are among the leading causes of illness and disability in young people, and that half of all mental health conditions in adults begin by the age of eighteen. Most of these cases are never noticed or treated. So if you feel overwhelmed this year, you are not strange, and you are certainly not alone.
Where does the pressure come from? For most of you, the first answer is the national examination. That pressure is real, and a little of it is useful: it gets you out of bed. The problem begins when you stop sleeping, stop eating properly and start believing that one set of results decides your whole life. It does not.
The second source is your friends. Peer pressure rarely sounds like a threat. It sounds like "Just once," or "Everyone is doing it," or "Don't be so serious." It may be a cigarette, a drink at a party, a plan to leave the school at night, or a request to copy your homework.
The third is relationships, and here I will be very direct. Some of you will be offered gifts, money, phone credit or free lifts by an older person who wants something in return. Listen carefully: sexual contact with a child is abuse and a crime. It is never the child's fault, and it must be reported. An early pregnancy can end a girl's education, and the WHO lists complications of pregnancy and childbirth among the leading causes of death for girls aged fifteen to nineteen worldwide.
So what do you do? I teach a three-step habit: pause, think, choose. Pause: take a breath, and buy yourself time. "Let me think about it" is a complete sentence. Think: what happens next? Would you be comfortable if your family knew? Choose: say no clearly, suggest something else, or walk away. And if the pressure is too heavy, choose to tell someone.
My door is open every afternoon. If you would rather talk to someone outside school, these numbers are free: 116 to report child abuse, 3512 for gender-based violence, 3029 for the Isange One Stop Centre, and 166 for an emergency. Write them down now.
Thank you. That was four minutes and ten seconds. I apologise for the ten seconds.
First listening: gist
- What is the counsellor's main message? Choose one: (a) Examinations are the most important thing in S6. (b) Pressure is normal, and there are practical ways to handle it. (c) Students should avoid all their friends during S6.
- How many sources of pressure does he describe?
Second listening: details
- What two facts from the World Health Organization does he give about mental health?
- According to the counsellor, when does exam pressure become a problem?
- Write down three phrases that he says peer pressure "sounds like".
- What does he say about sexual contact with a child?
- Name the three steps of his method and what each involves.
- Complete the table of helplines.
| Number | What it is for |
|---|---|
| 116 | |
| 3512 | |
| 3029 | |
| 166 |
Third listening: attitude and technique
- How does the counsellor use humour at the beginning and the end? Why might he do this?
- Why does he say "here I will be very direct" before the third point?
Show answersHide answers
- (b).
- Three: the national examination, friends (peer pressure) and relationships.
- Depression and anxiety are among the leading causes of illness and disability in young people; half of all mental health conditions in adults begin by the age of eighteen (and most are never noticed or treated).
- When students stop sleeping and eating properly, and start believing that one set of results decides their whole life.
- "Just once", "Everyone is doing it", "Don't be so serious".
- It is abuse and a crime; it is never the child's fault; it must be reported.
- Pause: take a breath and buy time. Think: consider what happens next and whether you would be comfortable if your family knew. Choose: say no, suggest something else, walk away, or tell someone.
- 116: reporting child abuse. 3512: reporting domestic or gender-based violence. 3029: the Isange One Stop Centre. 166: emergencies and reporting crime.
- He promises four minutes instead of five, and apologises for ten extra seconds. The humour relaxes the audience and makes a serious talk easier to listen to.
- To signal that the next point is serious and sensitive, and that he will not hide it in polite, vague language.
Pause, think, choose
Definition
- peer pressure: the influence that people of your own age and group have on what you do, especially when it pushes you to do something you would not choose alone.
- assertive: stating your opinion or decision clearly and calmly, without being rude (aggressive) or giving in (passive).
- abuse: cruel, violent or sexual treatment of a person, especially someone with less power, such as a child. Sexual contact with a child is abuse and a crime.
Speaking 1: discussing problems at school
In groups of four, choose two problems from this list: exam stress; a friend who has started drinking; bullying in the dormitory; a classmate who is always on her phone and falling behind; a student whose family cannot pay for materials. For each, discuss the causes, the effects and two realistic solutions, then report to the class.
| Function | Useful phrases |
|---|---|
| Describing a problem | The main difficulty is that … · What worries me most is … · It seems to be caused by … |
| Showing sympathy | That must be really hard. · I can see why you're worried. · Anyone would find that difficult. |
| Suggesting a solution | Why don't you …? · Have you considered …? · It might be worth …-ing. · If I were you, I'd … |
| Weighing a suggestion | That could work, as long as … · I'm not sure that would help, because … · The advantage of that is … |
| Agreeing on a plan | So, shall we agree that …? · Let's start with … and see what happens. |
Speaking 2: role-play, saying no
In pairs, act out each scene twice, changing roles. The person under pressure should use the pause, think, choose steps and at least two phrases from the table below.
- At a cousin's wedding, a friend offers you an e-cigarette: "Just try it. It's only flavoured air."
- Two classmates plan to leave the boarding school after lights out to go to a party. They want you to come.
- A friend asks to copy your assignment the night before it is due.
- A classmate tells you that an older man has been buying her phone credit and offering her lifts. She asks you to keep it secret. (Your task: persuade her to tell a trusted adult, and give her the numbers 116 and 3029.)
| Technique | Example |
|---|---|
| A clear no | No, thanks. I don't smoke. |
| A reason (optional) | I've got a match on Saturday and I need my lungs. |
| An alternative | Let's go and get something to eat instead. |
| The "broken record": repeat calmly | I said no. … No, really. … I'm still not doing it. |
| Turn it back | If you're my friend, you'll accept my answer. |
| Leave | I'm going back inside. See you later. |
Worked example
A model role-play: scene 3
Mugisha: Please, just let me copy your essay. I'll change the words. Nobody will notice.
Ineza: Let me think for a second. [pause] No, I'm not going to do that.
Mugisha: Come on, we're friends! It's only one assignment.
Ineza: We are friends, and that's why I'm saying no. If the teacher finds two essays alike, we both get zero. [think: the consequence]
Mugisha: So you'll just watch me fail?
Ineza: No. Why don't we sit together in prep tonight? I'll explain how I planned mine, and you write your own. [choose: no + an alternative]
Why it works: Ineza buys time, refuses clearly without insulting her friend, gives a reason based on consequences, resists the second push, and offers help that solves the real problem.
Warning
- Don't keep a dangerous secret. A promise to keep quiet about abuse, violence or a plan to harm someone is a promise you must break. Telling a trusted adult is protecting your friend, not betraying her.
- Assertive is not aggressive. "No, thanks" works better than an insult, which only starts a new argument.
Brain Development in Teenagers, from OxfordSparks, University of Oxford (about 2 minutes). Watch for what the animation says is changing in the teenage brain, and connect it to the counsellor's advice to pause before choosing.
✦
Practice
- Write the phrase the counsellor calls "a complete sentence".
- Rewrite each reply so that it is assertive, neither passive nor aggressive: (a) "Um, maybe, I don't know, if you really want …" (b) "Are you stupid? Get lost!"
- Match each suggestion to a problem: (a) Why don't you make a revision timetable? (b) Have you considered telling the matron? (c) It might be worth leaving your phone with your parents during the week.
Problems: bullying in the dormitory; exam stress; spending too long on a phone. - Your friend says: "Everyone at the party will be drinking. Don't be so serious." Write three replies using three different techniques from the table.
- Write the dialogue for scene 4 (about 120 words). The friend must end up agreeing to talk to a trusted adult.
- In one paragraph, evaluate the counsellor's talk: which part would help students most, and what would you add?
Show answersHide answers
- "Let me think about it."
- Models: (a) "No, thank you. I've decided not to." (b) "No. I don't want to, and I'd like you to accept that."
- (a) exam stress; (b) bullying in the dormitory; (c) spending too long on a phone.
- Models: A clear no: "No, thanks, I don't drink." An alternative: "I'll come, but I'll have a soda." Turn it back: "If you're my friend, you won't mind what I drink."
- Open answer. Check that the dialogue shows sympathy, explains that abuse is a crime and never the child's fault, names a trusted adult, and mentions 116 or 3029.
- Open answer. A strong answer names one specific part (for example, the three steps, because they are easy to remember in a tense moment), gives a reason, and suggests a realistic addition.
Sources and credits
- Counsellor's talk "Under Pressure", listening tasks, flowchart, phrase tables, role-play scenes, model dialogue and practice written by Ganzaa.
- Facts on mental health and early pregnancy: Adolescent and young adult health, fact sheet, World Health Organization.
- Helplines: Contact us, Rwanda Investigation Bureau.
- Video: Brain Development in Teenagers, OxfordSparks, embedded from YouTube.