The Friend Who Stays: Reading about a Day with Friends and Healthy Relationships

1Before you read: a fable

The Bear and the Two Travelers

TWO MEN were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches. The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could. The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body. When he was quite gone, the other Traveler descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear. “He gave me this advice,” his companion replied. “Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger.”

Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends.

Aesop, translated by George Fyler Townsend (1867). Public domain. The spelling is that of the edition used.

Words to help: concealed = hid; feigned = pretended; jocularly = jokingly; inquired = asked; deserts = leaves someone alone when they need you; sincerity = being real and honest.

1. Why do you think the man in the tree asked his question "jocularly"?
2. Put the moral, the last line, into your own words.
3. Think of a friend you trust. What did they once do that made you trust them?

2Reading: The Saturday Rule

A short story written by Ganzaa. The school, the people and the events are imagined.

1 Since S2, my friends and I have had one rule for Saturdays: work first, then fun. So at eight o'clock on a cool morning in October, Uwase, Mugisha and I were sitting on the low wall behind the school library in Huye, with our chemistry notes open and a flask of tea between us. This year there was a fourth person on the wall. Ange had joined our class in September, after her family moved from Rubavu, and for her first three weeks she had eaten her lunch alone. Then one day Uwase simply sat down next to her and asked whether she liked chemistry. That was all it took.

2 We had a test on Monday, so we divided the topics. Uwase took the mole, which she understands better than anyone I know. Mugisha groaned as soon as she started. "I will never understand this," he said. Uwase did not laugh. She drew twelve eggs in her notebook, reminded him that a dozen is just a number for counting things, and went through it all again, more slowly, until he did understand. I noticed that she never once made him feel slow. Ange said almost nothing all morning, but when we checked our answers she had got every one right, and Mugisha asked her to explain her method. It was the first time I had seen her smile.

3 At noon we walked down to the market. Mugisha had forgotten his money, which is something Mugisha does about once a week. Ange paid for his chapati without a word, and he promised to pay her back on Monday. "You'd better," said Uwase, "or I'll tell the whole class." Everyone laughed, Mugisha loudest of all.

4 It was in the afternoon, while we were watching a handball match at the sports ground, that Ange's phone buzzed. She read the message, went quiet, and then showed it to me. It came from a boy in S6 whom she hardly knew. He said she was the most beautiful girl in the school. He asked her to send him a photo of herself and to meet him behind the dormitories after dark, and, twice, he told her not to tell anyone. "Our little secret," he had written.

5 Mugisha read it over my shoulder and laughed. "Ange has an admirer!" he announced, loudly enough for the people in front of us to turn round. Ange's face went hot and she put the phone away. I told him to be quiet, more sharply than I meant to. He shrugged and walked off to buy a soda.

6 "Just leave it," Ange said. "If I tell a teacher, everyone will think I'm a child." "Someone who asks you to keep secrets from the adults who look after you isn't paying you a compliment," Uwase said quietly. "That is exactly what he is counting on." She offered to go with Ange to see our class teacher, Madame Mukeshimana, on Monday morning, and I said I would come too. We agreed that Ange would not reply to the message, and would not delete it either. Then we watched the end of the match, although none of us could have told you the score.

7 That evening Mugisha wrote in our group chat: "Ange, I'm sorry I laughed. It wasn't funny and I made it worse. If you want, I'll come on Monday too." Ange replied with a thumbs-up and three hearts. On Monday morning there were four of us outside the staffroom. Madame Mukeshimana listened carefully, thanked Ange for coming, and told her that she had done exactly the right thing and that the school would take it from there. Mugisha paid Ange back at break, with interest: a second chapati.

8 I have thought about that Saturday many times since. Friends will let you down sometimes. They forget their money, and they make stupid jokes. What matters is what happens next. A good friend says sorry and means it. A good friend explains the mole for the third time without sighing. And when something frightening happens, a good friend does not climb the nearest tree. A good friend stays.

3Comprehension

1. What is the friends' "Saturday rule"?
2. How did Ange become part of the group?
3. How does Uwase help Mugisha with the mole, and what does the narrator admire about the way she does it?
4. List the three things the S6 boy asked Ange to do. Why is the last one the most worrying?
5. Why does Ange at first want to "just leave it"?
6. What do the friends agree Ange should do about the message? Why should she not delete it?
7. The narrator says that "none of us could have told you the score". What does this show about the friends?
8. How does Mugisha repair the harm he did? Do you think his apology is a good one? Give two reasons.
9. How does the last paragraph connect the story to Aesop's fable?

Show answersHide answers

1. Work first, then fun.
2. She had eaten lunch alone for three weeks until Uwase sat down next to her and asked whether she liked chemistry.
3. She does not laugh; she draws twelve eggs to show that a mole, like a dozen, is a number for counting, and explains it again more slowly. The narrator admires that she never makes him feel slow.
4. To send him a photo of herself, to meet him behind the dormitories after dark, and not to tell anyone. Secrecy is the most worrying, because it cuts her off from the adults who could protect her; it is a warning sign of grooming.
5. She is afraid that if she tells a teacher, everyone will think she is a child.
6. Not to reply, not to delete it, and to see their class teacher on Monday with friends. Keeping it means the teacher can see exactly what was written.
7. They were all worried about Ange, so they were not really watching the match.
8. He apologises in the group chat, says exactly what he did wrong ("It wasn't funny and I made it worse"), offers to go with her, comes on Monday and pays her back. It is a good apology because it names the mistake, takes responsibility and offers to put things right.
9. The friend in the fable climbs a tree and deserts his companion; the narrator says a good friend "does not climb the nearest tree" but stays, as the three friends stayed with Ange.

4Vocabulary: the language of friendship

5Healthy, unhealthy or abusive?

Every relationship has bad days: Mugisha's joke was unkind, and he put it right. But some behaviour is a pattern of harm, and some is never acceptable at all. The chart shows the difference, and who can help.