Relationship and Friendship
Primary 6 · Social and Religious Studies
Relationship and Friendship
Lesson 3 of 5
12 min
Let's begin
Every day, Ishimwe's "friend" takes half of his lunch and says, "If you tell anyone, I won't be your friend any more." Ishimwe feels worried and small, and he no longer enjoys break time.
Is this a real friendship? Today you will learn to spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship, and what to do about it.
An unhealthy relationship is one where a person is hurt, frightened, controlled or made to feel small. It may start as a friendship, but it harms you instead of helping you.
| Sign | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Jealousy | Getting angry when a friend does well or has other friends |
| Intolerance | Refusing to accept people who are different: another religion, another language, a disability |
| Disrespect and mocking | Name-calling, insulting nicknames, laughing at someone |
| Dishonesty | Lying, cheating and breaking promises |
| Selfishness | Always taking and never giving |
| Control | Deciding who you may talk to, what you wear or where you go |
| Bullying and violence | Hitting, threatening, or taking things by force |
| Gossip | Spreading stories or secrets about someone behind their back |
| Pressure to do wrong | Pushing you to lie, steal, skip school, drink alcohol, smoke or take drugs |
| Bad secrets | Asking you to keep a secret that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe |
No one, whether a child, a teenager or an adult, should touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, ask you to keep secrets from your parents, offer you gifts or money in return for something, or ask to meet you alone after chatting online. These are warning signs.
Say no, get away, and tell a trusted adult: a parent, a teacher, a school counsellor or a religious leader. It is never your fault. If you are in danger, call the police on 112.
"Love doesn't envy." (1 Corinthians 13:4)
"[Love] doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:6)
Jealousy (envy) and dishonesty have no place in true love or friendship.
"Neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames." (Qur'an 49:11)
"Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another." (Qur'an 49:12)
"Defame" means to spoil someone's good name, "shun" means to keep away from, and to backbite means to say bad things about someone behind their back.
Worked example
Look again at Ishimwe's story.
Step 1 Find the signs: his "friend" takes his food (selfishness and bullying) and threatens him (control).
Step 2 Check his feelings: worried and small.
Answer: this is an unhealthy relationship. Ishimwe should say no and tell his teacher or parents.
Tip
Watch for red flags. If a "friend" makes you feel afraid, used or small, or asks you to keep a bad secret, that is a red flag.
Remember: No → Go → Tell. Say no, go away, tell a trusted adult.
Name three characteristics of an unhealthy relationship.
Answer: any three of jealousy, intolerance, mocking, dishonesty, selfishness, control, bullying, gossip, pressure to do wrong, bad secrets.
Your friend sulks every time you get better marks than him. Which sign is this?
Answer: jealousy.
An adult you met online asks you to meet him alone and not tell anyone. What should you do?
Answer: refuse, stop chatting, and tell a parent or teacher straight away.
What does "backbite" mean?
Answer: to say bad things about someone behind their back.
Which number do you call for the police in Rwanda in an emergency?
Answer: 112.
What you learned today
Sources and credits
Everything else in this lesson, including the practice questions, was written by Ganzaa.
Quick check
Match each sign of an unhealthy relationship to what it looks like.
Tap one on the left, then its partner on the right.
