Decision-Making Regarding Sexual Relationships
Senior 1 · Biology
Decision-Making Regarding Sexual Relationships
Lesson 5 of 5
25 min
Big decisions rarely arrive at a calm moment. They come at a party, on a phone at night, or on the walk home, often with someone pushing for a quick answer. People make their worst choices when they are rushed, pressured, tired or drunk.
A decision-making model is a set of steps that slows the moment down, so that you choose with your head, not with the pressure. In this lesson you will learn a five-step model, practise it on realistic situations, and learn exactly where to get help in Rwanda.
Definition
Decision-making: choosing between possible actions after thinking about their likely consequences.
Consequence: a result or effect of an action, which may be good or bad, short-term or long-term.
Trusted adult: a grown-up you can rely on to listen and to help keep you safe, such as a parent or guardian, a teacher, a school counsellor, a health worker, a faith leader or a local leader.
Figure 1: The decision-making model: Stop, Think, Choose, Act, Review.
| Step | What you do | Questions to ask |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Stop | Pause before answering. Move away from the pressure if you can. | Am I being rushed? Have I been drinking? Do I need time? |
| 2. Think | Get the facts, list your options, and think through the consequences. | Is it safe? Is it legal? How would it affect my health, my education, my family, my faith or values, and other people? |
| 3. Choose | Pick the option that is safest and fits your values and goals. | Would I be happy if my family knew? Will I be glad of this choice in a year? |
| 4. Act | Carry out the decision assertively; ask for help if you need it. | Who can support me? What will I say? |
| 5. Review | Afterwards, think about how it went. | What worked? What would I do differently next time? |
Worked example 1: the party
At a friend's birthday party, Gatete (14) is offered beer. Later an older girl suggests they "go somewhere quiet". Work through the model.
Worked example 2: a message at night
Uwase (13) has been chatting online with someone who says he is 15. He asks for a photo "of just you, no clothes", promising to delete it.
Key point: Uwase did nothing wrong by receiving the message. The person who asked is responsible.
In groups of three (two actors and one observer), act out each scenario, using the five steps. The observer checks that every step was used. Afterwards, discuss what made the decision easier or harder. Keep to the characters; nobody needs to share personal experiences.
| Who | How to reach them (source) | What they help with |
|---|---|---|
| Child-abuse line (Rwanda Investigation Bureau) | 116, free (source: RIB) | reporting abuse of a child, including sexual abuse |
| Domestic and gender-based violence line (RIB) | 3512, free (source: RIB) | reporting violence at home or gender-based violence |
| Isange One Stop Centre | 3029, free; at 48 hospitals, with basic services at every health centre; free, 24 hours a day (source: RIB) | medical care after sexual or physical violence, including medicines that prevent HIV, other infections and pregnancy; counselling; investigation; a safe room |
| RIB emergency line | 166, free (source: RIB) | emergencies and reporting any crime |
| Health centre, health post, community health worker | in person (source: Unit 12, Lesson 1) | health advice, testing and treatment, including for STIs |
| District youth centre | in person, in each district (source: National Youth Council) | youth programmes, including sexual and reproductive health |
| School: teacher, school counsellor, girls' room | in person (source: your school) | advice, support, pads, and help to report |
| Family and faith community | in person | advice and support |
If the first adult you tell does not help, keep telling until someone does.
Important
You are never alone, and it is never your fault. Any sexual contact with a child is abuse and a crime. If you, or a friend, are being pressured, hurt or abused, tell a trusted adult or call 116 (child abuse) or 3512 (gender-based violence). After sexual violence, go to a health centre or the Isange One Stop Centre (3029) the same day if you can. All these services are free.
Warning
Common mistakes. (1) Deciding "in the moment" when drunk, rushed or pressured: stop first. (2) Thinking about only one consequence: think of health, law, education, family, values and other people. (3) Keeping a friend's secret about abuse: help them tell a trusted adult. (4) Giving up after one adult does not help: keep telling.
Tip
Memory hook: cross a decision like a busy road. Stop at the edge, think by looking both ways, choose the safe moment, act by crossing, and review on the other side.
Practice: making safe decisions
Key points
Further reading for this unit
Sources and credits
Written by Ganzaa: the lesson text, Figure 1, the tables, the worked examples, the role-plays and the practice questions.
